Did you Just See That?

16 06 2010

It was 3D. And friggin HAND-HELD. E3 just happened, and really, who cares? It was a year of copycat bullpies labeled as new. Microsoft figured out how to take the actual joy out of petting a cat, and Sony just made wiimotes with a gay little satellite dish.

totally not the same

Pictured: 4 years of innovation

Also there was about 7 “new” first person shooters where you are a some sort of marine and you murder everything, and Microsoft blatantly ripped off Wii Sports with the appropriately titled, “Kinect Sports”. Real original. Then Nintendo came up to the plate. By this point, all hopes for anything new or groundbreaking were out the window.

But leave it to them sneaky Japs to blow your mind. 3DS. Whaaaat? 3D. No glasses. Hand-held. Right now. You can’t even show a picture of it because photos are 2D and this thing is goddamn 3D. As if that wasn’t enough good news to offset the oil spill, they announced a new Zelda.

"There's a new Zelda? Man, screw this, we got shit to do"

Anyone that matters just got a boner reading that. Also, this is the first Zelda game designed for the Wii, unlike Twilight Princess, which in case you didn’t know was made for the Gamecube and promptly hit with a mirror effect to make Link right-handed for the Wii gamers. Exciting times are upon us as Nintendo may save the gaming industry for the second time (the first being in 1983 when arcade owners were like “eff this noise, we’re gonna lose money” and then Donkey Kong saved everything).

Did you ever see that old PS2 add where they were in the future playing a PS9 with “electronic spores” that went into your brain to make it the ultimate VR? Don’t be suprised if that’s the next console from the Land of the Rising Sun.

They do things differently over there

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3 responses

17 06 2010
jaylyn

dude, your blog is awesome. it’s the next best thing to actually talking to you.. also, i don’t remember that PS2 add. it sounds fucked up. or made up. I loled hard about the cat.

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17 06 2010
Jeff

This blog is so beautiful that I cried three tears, each one falling from my face and shimmering in the morning sun. I smiled as I realized that I was in fact awake.

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17 06 2010
Eh! Steve.

I agree.. With everything. But I didn’t cry. I kicked Chuck Norris in the nuts and broke my body.

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