Probably The Best Idea For A Movie Ever

28 06 2010

We all know that Hollywood has run out of new material years ago. Pretty much every big movie has been a “reboot” of old T.V. shows, comics, or even something called books.

"A sandwich with words?"

Sure, a lot of it is bullcrap, like Transformers (which i will continue to use as the perfect definition of everything i don’t like about modern moviemaking), but there were a few good ones. For example, if you didn’t like Iron Man, you’re probably being investigated by the FBI for being a traitor. And of course The A-Team was just fantastic work all around. Thinking about this means there is only one logical course of action for the future: a Hogan’s Heroes movie.

WWII Nazi POW camps were overrun by wacky hijinks

It’s an idea so good, i think i just cured cancer. My dad has every episode ever on tape and i watch at least one a day. I may even just write the damn script myself and shop it out to make me some easy money. But check out my cast list for this.

  • Col. Robert Hogan played by Breckin Meyer (even though Seth Macfarlane basically is Col. Hogan)
  • Newkirk played by Simon Pegg
  • Kinch played by Denzel Washington
  • Sargent Carter played by D.J. Qualls
  • and i guess Seth Green could be Corporal LeBeau cuz he’s short and he and Brecken Meyer make a great team
  • Sargent Shultz played by Kevin James
  • Col. Klink played by maybe Andy Samberg or something, i can’t really figure that one out

    My thoughts exactly, Keanu

If you’ve never seen Hogan’s Heroes, you need to remember that there’s more on TV Land than Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire. Get an education. My friend Jimmy over at Big Box News said it wouldn’t make sense because nothing happened in any episodes of Hogan’s Heroes. On a related note, he is of some French descent. But in response to his remark, it was the damn 60’s. when they had to do stuff at night, the filmed it during the day and slapped a blue filter on the camera and used stock footage of air drops. This is the ’10s now, man, we got explosions in everything. Not to mention, comedy happened.

The Russian Front was so funny, that guy on the right is literally "rofl"ing

So yeah, we get these actors, some decent writers, and anyone other than Michael Bay to direct it, and we’re golden. It could even be an origins story, cuz hell, they all are. Slap some explosions and wacky antics and Russian Front jokes on there and we got us a winner.

"Mama Bear, this is Goldilocks, come in, Mama Bear"




7 responses

28 06 2010

Literally peed a little when I read “A sandwich with words?!”. Just to let you know.


28 06 2010

Standing ovation. Jack Black would make a great Schultzy. And Klink is a tough one. Maybe you could scour independent films for new talent, haha. Or! ROB CORDRY.


29 06 2010

wow. way to revive fuckin breckin meyer….


29 06 2010

On the contrary, Sir Atticus, there were some episodes in the third season where Gestapo officers and/or Wehrmacht officers were killed either by Hogan’s men planting bombs or by them calling in an air strike. Back then they thought comedy in a POW camp was in bad taste at first until it became a hit show right away. It was the Jewish writers in Hollywood getting back at the Nazis the best way the knew how – make fun of them. Almost every actor that played a Nazi in Hogan’s Heroes was Jewish. Even the guy who played LeBeau had been in concentration camp as a child in France. I think it’s a great idea. Now who are we gonna get to play Col. Klink ?


30 06 2010
King Donko

burt reynolds


30 06 2010

Burt Reynolds would be the redneckiest Klink ever. i love it


3 08 2010
R Squared

the only problem sir is that you would never get all those actors becasue most of them are to high profile and most people born after the 80 don’t even know this show has even ever happened…its a great idea for a movie but you most likely have to go mostly unknown actors…and barely ever anything does happen. Also if this movie every did happen you would be pissed casue they most like would change something and you would be that is not what happens at all or that is not how that character act either. they would do this too because the show is so old not many people would get it. my opinion it would be like inglorious basted with funnier stuff which in my mind would be great but people that want it more true to the story would hate it, and that lies your problem cause they need to figure out a way to make money cause sorry to say that is what it is all about and they most likely would go the more hip now exciting way rather then staying true to the show,


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