Inception: Best LAN Party Ever

27 07 2010

So you’ve seen Inception, right? Of course you have, you don’t live under a rock or wouldn’t be reading this right now. What’s that? You haven’t? It’s cool, i can wait…

it's a long movie

Ok, you’re back. Did you enjoy yourself? Good. Now just let the headache and the questioning of your reality wait a little bit, we got work to do. First off, as I’m sure everyone has noticed, they somehow shared in the dreams of their host (server) with some crazy machine that never gets explained (router). You shoulda been wearing a helmet CUZ I JUST BLEW YOUR MIND. All of this is possible of course, because the entire movie revolves around one premise: It was all a dream!

I used to read Word Up magazine

Now, normally for cynical bastards my age that growed up wrong with Adult Swim, we hear “the whole thing was a dream” and immediately go “gaaaaaaay”. HOWEVER, it wasn’t like “oh man, what a weird dream, good thing everything is back to normal” it was like if the Matrix was real and didn’t get ruined after the first one.

"Take the red pill and find out that the rabbit hole is bullshit, and you're like, program Deus_ex_Machina.exe or some such bullshit"

So anyway, how many damn layers is there in this movie? Like, dream within a dream within a dream, etc. cuz when you think about it, holy crap his wife was right. Is he stuck in the dream world because of grief? Is he in an insane asylum and this is how they keep him subdued? Is Alfred trying to rescue him with, or from Ellen Page?

Way to step up to the plate, Ellen

It’s like you took acid, then on your trip you took shrooms. Next thing you know, you’re hanging out at the Blue Room dancing to techno and doing coke with eastern Europeans. Then the russian mafia wants you dead and you’re trying to escape on your bicycle when you get splashed by a truck going through a puddle but you think they shot you and threw you in a canal.

It makes exactly this much sense

So anyway, back to the whole point of this. Inception rocked. The kid from 3rd rock is a badass. Ellen Page is better than just awkward hipster movies. And i want a dream router so bad. Could you imagine just how fun it would be to go deep into someone’s subconscious for the best game of Goldeneye ever? And none of that Matrix “if you die in the matrix, you die in real life” bullshit. If you die in the dream world, you wake up and draw dicks on everyone that’s still asleep.




4 responses

27 07 2010

excellent, as is becoming usual!


3 08 2010
R Squared



3 08 2010
R Squared

oh but i think they should have had a cookie at the end wither to show that is was still spinning…more (cause it looked like it was going to fall over) or cut back to it and have it fall over. just my thought thinking it would be cool


2 09 2010
Mike Mongo

Hmm. You’re MOM directed me to read this. Go figure. Anyhow, you are an OK writer. The picture of the tripadelic backpack won me over. Plus, strong finish. Dicks on foreheads? Funny/good.

As far as the movie goes, I walked out of Inception after about 15-18 minutes in. I’m still grieving missing Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Plus I watched 2012 on Netflix yesterday, so maybe that salted the whole deal for me. I had had my fill on dumb+kick ass special effects for a while.

Keep up the good work. And tell your 24-year old friends to stop saying that’s gay when something is lame or stupid.


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