The Guy Who Named Food Must’ve Gone Senile Towards the End

23 09 2010

Let’s just get the obvious out of the way and make the observation that every comedian has ever made (airline food notwithstanding). Oranges are called fucking oranges and that is the most unoriginal thing ever. There are plenty of other things out there that are the color orange that have actual names that have nothing to do with their color, like CARROTS:

WHOOPS

On a related note, i think i lost a few IQ points making the alt-text joke there. However this does lead into the main thing that annoys me: the food industry’s blatant disregard of the word “purple”. For instance, blueberries are actually purple, but we can let it slide because “blueberries” is at least one more adjective better than “oranges”, and actually does somewhat resemble purple if it’s dark enough. My main beef though, is with “red” onions.

"Yup. That sure is red. We'll call 'em 'red onions'"

Granted, without something actually red nearby, your brain pulls one of those recognition tricks that allows you to raed setnecnes lkie tihs and goes “yessir, red alright” but for reference:

google images result for the color red

You know, like tomatoes and stop signs and Steven Segal’s vision. “Red” onions on the other hand, are not actually red, but the color purple:

Google image result for the color purple

This really might all just be a 1984-esque exercise in control by the shadow government, telling us purple is red and 2+2=5. It’s all standard really. We can all sleep safe at night in our human beds while our human government continues to lead the country.

Nope

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2 responses

23 09 2010
Cindy

LOVE it! You’re such a clever young man!

Like

27 09 2010
neerWON!

Bravo sir, bravo.

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