An Open Letter to Canada

1 07 2010

Dear Canada, happy birthday! I’m sorry most of the people over here are kinda dicks to you, but seriously, that gold medal tomfoolery you pulled at the olympics sorta put us on edge. However, i am willing to look past that in honor of your birthday. For those of you not in the know, on this day in 1867 Canada became a confederated independent country rather than the series of British protectorates and colonies it was.

Can you get enough of that guy raising his top hat? I can't!

Basically a bunch of dudes got together and cemented Canada’s stereotype of politeness and manners by sitting down and talking and negotiating independence. Man, we fought the British twice and our own selves once for unity and independence, and these guys just got drunk and talked it out


A lot of people in the U.S. give Canada a lot of shit, but i don’t think they deserve it.


But for real, somehow we make fun of them for being nice. That’s not really an insult, that’s more of a compliment. Are we really such mean jerks in this country that the politeness of Canadians actually bothers us?

That's a yes

Not to mention that while making fun of Canada is standard procedure over here, they actually like us. They are fans of the U.S. and get down with our 4th of July and they know all types of stuff about our history and all we know about them is they never commit crimes. Here are a few things to come out of Canada that I love:

  • Beer with 2-3 times the alcohol of ours
  • Kate Beaton
  • Sum 41
  • 18 years old drinking age

All in all, I’m alright with Canada. I’ve been there twice, and i have a friend from Quebec  that goes down to Key West for winter and he is a rad dude that is into motorcycles and drinking and plaid shirts and having a sweet French Canadian accent. So happy birthday little brother!




4 responses

1 07 2010

very nice write, little son


1 07 2010

Cheers for Cannucks! Now if we could just figure out how to fix those floppy heads and their love for sodomy in Nova Scotia everything’ll awwwwrriiiiiii


4 07 2010

wait…are you seeing hockey is best sport??


4 07 2010

damn..I sound like some Russian cold war era spy in ^^^that comment…fail.


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